Karditvon is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, pitiless beaver.

Karditvon created snails seven million years ago.

If you believe in Karditvon, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Karditvon, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Karditvon's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Karditvon's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never talk about solid mechanics.

4. You must pray to Karditvon nine times a day.

5. Never write about quantum mechanics.