Tofvinfeblarncaphimbum Janflowhimquim Komtenhiv is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, uncaring wren.

Tofvinfeblarncaphimbum Janflowhimquim Komtenhiv created the Sun nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tofvinfeblarncaphimbum Janflowhimquim Komtenhiv, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tofvinfeblarncaphimbum Janflowhimquim Komtenhiv, it will cry a lot.

Tofvinfeblarncaphimbum Janflowhimquim Komtenhiv's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Tofvinfeblarncaphimbum Janflowhimquim Komtenhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear fawn clothing.

2. Worship no other gods but Tofvinfeblarncaphimbum Janflowhimquim Komtenhiv.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate tapirs.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Always pray immersed in water.