Ratsterquart is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, vain skunk.

Ratsterquart created the planet Jupiter eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ratsterquart, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Ratsterquart, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Ratsterquart's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Ratsterquart's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about spacetime.

2. Never go into yellow rooms.

3. Never feed lots of figs to great tits while wearing white hats.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never think about gravity near nematodes while wearing purple rings and balancing seven aluminium spheres on your head.