Mobnig Narlpakven is a god.

It takes the form of a small, narcissistic lion.

Mobnig Narlpakven created the Whirlpool Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mobnig Narlpakven, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Mobnig Narlpakven, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Mobnig Narlpakven's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Mobnig Narlpakven's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Mobnig Narlpakven.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never wear scarves.

4. Never think about special relativity near tapirs while wearing purple shoes and balancing nine carbon spheres on your head.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate shrews.