Stannelltig is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, compassionate mole.

Stannelltig created a down quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stannelltig, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Stannelltig, she will strike you with lightening.

Stannelltig's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Stannelltig's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never eat grapes.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Never wear tights.