Bamlidgab is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, stupid squid.

Bamlidgab created dark energy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bamlidgab, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Bamlidgab, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Bamlidgab's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Bamlidgab's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never talk about spacetime near capybaras while wearing green scarves.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Bamlidgab loves dogs, so they must be honoured.

5. Always treat grasshopers with great respect.