Kemjencen is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, staggering bat.

Kemjencen created Africa two million years ago.

If you believe in Kemjencen, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Kemjencen, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Kemjencen's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Kemjencen's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kemjencen.

2. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

3. Do not keep eight snails in a large pit.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never think about dark matter.