Afstipdab is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, compassionate bat.

Afstipdab created bats eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Afstipdab, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Afstipdab, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Afstipdab's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Afstipdab's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed bananas to birds while wearing blue rings.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never paint your back indigo.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.