Kikmifcud is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, witty yak.

Kikmifcud created Mount Everest four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kikmifcud, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Kikmifcud, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Kikmifcud's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Kikmifcud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Always help sick ducks.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never talk about spacetime near eagles while wearing violet ear rings.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.