Lamvidbag is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, prudent swan.

Lamvidbag created bats seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lamvidbag, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Lamvidbag, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Lamvidbag's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Lamvidbag's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about stars.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not keep six doves in a large pit.

4. Never feed peanuts to badgers while wearing mauve jumpers.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.