Tonhadcitrill is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, emotional cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Tonhadcitrill created a top quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonhadcitrill, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Tonhadcitrill, he will turn you into a slug.

Tonhadcitrill's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Tonhadcitrill's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Tonhadcitrill.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not speak about wheat.