Bathintom is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, staggering cow.

Bathintom created the Sombrero Galaxy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bathintom, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Bathintom, she will turn you into a rock.

Bathintom's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Bathintom's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about stars.

2. Always make sure there are no snakes in a building before entering it.

3. You must never eat gooseberries.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bathintom.

5. Always help doves.