Ditbepbassflan is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, all-powerful squirrel.

Ditbepbassflan created a Higgs boson five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ditbepbassflan, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Ditbepbassflan, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Ditbepbassflan's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Ditbepbassflan's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine nematodes approach from the south.

2. Never hop near ducks.

3. Hide from green foxes for they are unholy.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Ditbepbassflan.