Nelrillril is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, selfish snail.

Nelrillril created the universe four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nelrillril, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Nelrillril, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Nelrillril's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Nelrillril's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed gooseberries to seals while wearing stockings.

2. Always make sure there are no horses in a building before entering it.

3. Erect a large tin sculpture of Nelrillril on top of all buildings.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never wear violet trousers.