Nibyattvig is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, stupid raccoon.

Nibyattvig created humanity three billion years ago.

If you believe in Nibyattvig, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Nibyattvig, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Nibyattvig's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Nibyattvig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about solid mechanics.

2. Never eat lentils.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.