Loopwadgig is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, irritating coyote.

Loopwadgig created water eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Loopwadgig, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Loopwadgig, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Loopwadgig's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Loopwadgig's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat capybaras with great respect.

2. Never write about special relativity.

3. Always obey Loopwadgig's priests.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Loopwadgig.