Bonsagstig is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, blissful scorpion.

Bonsagstig created everything that exists two years ago.

If you believe in Bonsagstig, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bonsagstig, he will turn you into a plant.

Bonsagstig's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Bonsagstig's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Bonsagstig.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bonsagstig.

3. Learn six new languages a year.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never go into indigo rooms.