Tigkipdib is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, temperamental cow.

Tigkipdib created dark matter five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tigkipdib, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Tigkipdib, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Tigkipdib's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Tigkipdib's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not hurt snails.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Tigkipdib loves doves, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not commit murder.