Zodkarfed Donvignar Bellkarhud is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, stupid salamander.

Zodkarfed Donvignar Bellkarhud created the planet Jupiter seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Zodkarfed Donvignar Bellkarhud, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Zodkarfed Donvignar Bellkarhud, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Zodkarfed Donvignar Bellkarhud's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Zodkarfed Donvignar Bellkarhud's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no ducks in a building before entering it.

2. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Always help eagles in need.