Spagfatman Lighindub is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, self-confident naga.

Spagfatman Lighindub created everything that exists five billion years ago.

If you believe in Spagfatman Lighindub, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Spagfatman Lighindub, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Spagfatman Lighindub's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Spagfatman Lighindub's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large gold sculpture of Spagfatman Lighindub on top of all buildings.

2. Never feed lots of bread to great tits while wearing red shoes.

3. You must pray to Spagfatman Lighindub nine times a day.

4. Never hurt goats.

5. Do not stand on grass.