Bamgepnantom Volfumfly is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, emotional giraffe.

Bamgepnantom Volfumfly created the Large Magellanic Cloud two billion years ago.

If you believe in Bamgepnantom Volfumfly, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bamgepnantom Volfumfly, it will turn you into a hamster.

Bamgepnantom Volfumfly's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Bamgepnantom Volfumfly's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about spacetime near porpoises while wearing magenta ear rings and balancing seven carbon spheres on your face.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Always make sure there are no bats in a building before entering it.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bamgepnantom Volfumfly.

5. Never go into indigo rooms.