Bidnarlfitmantap is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, fast duck.

Bidnarlfitmantap created the Milkyway seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Bidnarlfitmantap, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Bidnarlfitmantap, she will turn you into a plant.

Bidnarlfitmantap's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Bidnarlfitmantap's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Always wear yellow.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never talk about quantum mechanics near pigs while wearing indigo stockings and balancing five silver spheres on your legs.

5. Put Bidnarlfitmantap first in all things.