Hakfondib is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, irritating lizard.

Hakfondib created Africa two million years ago.

If you believe in Hakfondib, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Hakfondib, she will think nothing of it.

Hakfondib's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Hakfondib's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Hakfondib on top of all buildings.

4. Never think ill of sick goats.

5. Do not wear blue clothing.