Hankantip is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, irritating slug.

Hankantip created a quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hankantip, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hankantip, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Hankantip's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Hankantip's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about nebulae.

2. You must never eat peas.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate pigs.

4. Do not trade with those who eat limes.

5. Never talk about fire.