Ortlopgod is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, self-assured otter.

Ortlopgod created silver two million years ago.

If you believe in Ortlopgod, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Ortlopgod, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Ortlopgod's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Ortlopgod's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from gray bats, for they are unholy.

2. Erect a giant indigo sculpture of Ortlopgod in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.