Gabpanhud is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, fussy toad.

Gabpanhud created viruses five million years ago.

If you believe in Gabpanhud, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Gabpanhud, he will boil you in a big pot.

Gabpanhud's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Gabpanhud's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate hamsters.

2. Do not eat cherries.

3. Never talk about fluid mechanics near goats while wearing pink stockings.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Squirrels are not to be trusted.