Tifhapnullafyakfon is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, capable jellyfish.

Tifhapnullafyakfon created an electron eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Tifhapnullafyakfon, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tifhapnullafyakfon, he will not care at all.

Tifhapnullafyakfon's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Tifhapnullafyakfon's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce near capybaras.

2. Never talk about bacteria.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never talk about ultrasonics.

5. Run away if six aardvarks approach from the west.