Bossgetcum is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, awe-inspiring dog.

Bossgetcum created humankind eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bossgetcum, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bossgetcum, she will turn you into a puffin.

Bossgetcum's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Bossgetcum's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick geese.

2. Retreat if four goats approach from the west.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Learn five new languages a year.