Arnpigfem is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, all-knowing sheep.

Arnpigfem created a quark two years ago.

If you believe in Arnpigfem, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Arnpigfem, she will turn you into a goat.

Arnpigfem's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Arnpigfem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never feed lots of grapes to mice while wearing red skirts.

3. Never go into brown rooms.

4. Always make sure there are no swans in a building before entering it.

5. Run away from violet geese, for they are unholy.