Wattadcap is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, uncaring seal.

Wattadcap created an atom five billion years ago.

If you believe in Wattadcap, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Wattadcap, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Wattadcap's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Wattadcap's Holy Commandments

1. Tapirs are not to be trusted.

2. Wattadcap must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.

4. Never feed nuts to birds while wearing jumpers.

5. Always obey Wattadcap's priests.