Mapkarcissbeg is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, stupid centipede.

Mapkarcissbeg created water six billion years ago.

If you believe in Mapkarcissbeg, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Mapkarcissbeg, she will destroy your favourite star.

Mapkarcissbeg's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Mapkarcissbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about ribonucleic acid.

2. Never sit in the presence of dogs.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Hide if three moths approach from the north.

5. Do not drink alcohol.