Bifgutflatfemquaghig is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, sapient seal.

Bifgutflatfemquaghig created the Black Eye Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bifgutflatfemquaghig, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Bifgutflatfemquaghig, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Bifgutflatfemquaghig's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Bifgutflatfemquaghig's Holy Commandments

1. Bifgutflatfemquaghig loves snakes, so they must be respected.

2. Never write about enzymes.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never write about stars.