Bomjancabgom is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, quiet gerbil.

Bomjancabgom created Africa seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bomjancabgom, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bomjancabgom, he will manifest in front of you.

Bomjancabgom's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Bomjancabgom's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not speak about parsnips.

3. Never talk about quantum field theory.

4. Do not trade with those who eat coconuts.

5. Never think about thermodynamics near great tits while wearing violet stockings and balancing nine tin spheres on your arms.