Boptigfadnilmet is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, humorless ferret.

Boptigfadnilmet created everything that exists nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Boptigfadnilmet, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Boptigfadnilmet, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Boptigfadnilmet's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Boptigfadnilmet's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about electromagnetism near ducks while wearing turquoise stockings and balancing four gold spheres on your neck.

2. You must love Boptigfadnilmet.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Always help sick gulls.