Tigarffarn is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, effective troll.

Tigarffarn created snails four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tigarffarn, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tigarffarn, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Tigarffarn's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Tigarffarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about hamsters.

2. Do not keep three bats in a large pit.

3. Never look at moons.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Erect four copper sculptures of Tigarffarn on top of important buildings.