Futvingil is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, thoughtless eagle.

Futvingil created everything that exists five million years ago.

If you believe in Futvingil, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Futvingil, she will destroy your home planet.

Futvingil's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Futvingil's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Always make sure there are no dogs in a building before entering it.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never pour water over plants.