Cissfossfarn is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, selfish crane.

Cissfossfarn created dark energy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cissfossfarn, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Cissfossfarn, it will turn you into a puffin.

Cissfossfarn's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Cissfossfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dolphins.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never write about archaea.

4. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.