Nellxindim Wegafjab is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, tiresome jaguar.

Nellxindim Wegafjab created a photon four billion years ago.

If you believe in Nellxindim Wegafjab, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Nellxindim Wegafjab, it will refuse to believe in you.

Nellxindim Wegafjab's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Nellxindim Wegafjab's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine turtles approach from the south.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.