Xuckvonkbag is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, selfish snake.

Xuckvonkbag created the Sol system four million years ago.

If you believe in Xuckvonkbag, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Xuckvonkbag, he will destroy your home solar system.

Xuckvonkbag's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Xuckvonkbag's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never talk about fluid mechanics near mice while wearing cyan shorts and balancing eight aluminium spheres on your face.

3. Run away from orange ants, for they are unholy.

4. Always wear violet.

5. Never talk about fire.