Teenlapfen is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, strong ant.

Teenlapfen created dark matter four million years ago.

If you believe in Teenlapfen, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Teenlapfen, he will torture you forever.

Teenlapfen's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Teenlapfen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Always help seals in need.

3. Erect three zinc sculptures of Teenlapfen on top of important buildings.

4. Never write about ultrasonics.

5. Always stare at clouds.