Vigbarnkim is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, omniscient mole.

Vigbarnkim created silver six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vigbarnkim, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Vigbarnkim, it will turn you into a tree.

Vigbarnkim's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Vigbarnkim's Holy Commandments

1. Always help mice.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Always look after injured dolphins.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.