Cetgutmig is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, omniscient hippopotamus.

Cetgutmig created a top quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Cetgutmig, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Cetgutmig, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Cetgutmig's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Cetgutmig's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Cetgutmig's priests.

2. Badgers are not to be trusted.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Hide from orange grasshopers for they are unholy.

5. Never wear kilts.