Tamvigtad is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, egotistical monkey.

Tamvigtad created viruses nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Tamvigtad, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tamvigtad, he will be very unhappy.

Tamvigtad's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Tamvigtad's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in the presence of voles.

2. Never look at stars.

3. Do not kill goats.

4. Learn four new languages a year.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.