Flamlaprig is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, unthoughtful crane.

Flamlaprig created the Whirlpool Galaxy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flamlaprig, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Flamlaprig, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Flamlaprig's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Flamlaprig's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snails.

2. Feed all hungry tortoises.

3. Never talk about ducks.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.