Betzedmil is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, dishonourable shrew.

Betzedmil created silver eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Betzedmil, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Betzedmil, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Betzedmil's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Betzedmil's Holy Commandments

1. Put Betzedmil first in all things.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Worship no other gods but Betzedmil.

4. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate sharks.