Jinteenzed is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, compassionate duck.

Jinteenzed created the Sun five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jinteenzed, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Jinteenzed, he will turn you into a hamster.

Jinteenzed's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Jinteenzed's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of bananas to shrews while wearing cyan rings.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Jinteenzed.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Fast once a month.