Yarfarnfebsakwon is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, weak squid.

Yarfarnfebsakwon created matter four million years ago.

If you believe in Yarfarnfebsakwon, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Yarfarnfebsakwon, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Yarfarnfebsakwon's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Yarfarnfebsakwon's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear brown.

2. Never think ill of sick snakes.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate seals.

5. Never feed lots of spinach to goats while wearing purple kilts.