Sitpidlig is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unthinking goblin.

Sitpidlig created carbon two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sitpidlig, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Sitpidlig, he will turn you into a mouse.

Sitpidlig's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Sitpidlig's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never talk about badgers.

5. Never wear scarves.