Bugzimxen is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, proud badger.

Bugzimxen created life nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bugzimxen, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Bugzimxen, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Bugzimxen's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Bugzimxen's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Bugzimxen.

2. Erect a giant copper sculpture of Bugzimxen in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always make sure there are no manatees in a building before entering it.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.