Quartbapyak is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, dishonest meerkat.

Quartbapyak created an electron four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quartbapyak, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Quartbapyak, it will destroy your home solar system.

Quartbapyak's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Quartbapyak's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark energy near porpoises while wearing brown shorts and balancing eight platinum spheres on your arms.

2. Never bounce in holy places.

3. Always treat voles with great respect.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Do not wear violet clothing.